No one thus far had broached the subject to her like this. She had a feeling perhaps none of them could. Surely not Bea who was so overly protective in desperation to keep Tora safe that she barely let her out of the house. So many others who hugs her and cried and told her how wonderful it was that she was back. But..she couldn't tell any of them, how could she? Once Ralph posed it to her though the damn burst and she began to speak quietly.
"Ralph," She began, a slight trembling those super sensitive finger pads could sense. "It's not like coming back from a trip. You...you know. I died, I felt myself die and then there was nothing. And I never knew nothing could hurt so much! I felt empty inside like I never cared for any one or anything in my whole life. And then I saw Bea and Guy and.... and I remembered what that felt like and all that nothing was filled up.. I felt whole and complete and loved."
Their time in Hell had been more or less well documented, as had the results from it, memories having the white haired girl ducking her head down and tears threatening to spill over from her eyes.
"And then it was gone again. I went to Valhalla and things were perfect, but perfect because you could remember feelings and never had to have them again. And it was as bad as being empty because it felt like none of it was real. And now.... now I'm back again and...."
Tears did fall, splashing down her cheeks , hands coming to cover her face in shame.
"And now I'm afraid of it happening again. I don't want to be here just to lose it all over again Ralph, I... it's too much. And I can't tell anyone, I'm scared to be alive and...I don't know what to do."